Escapism

I took my favorite girls to an escape room last weekend. Have you done one? There’s always a theme and problem to be solved. You’re an astronaut on a secret mission who has to repair your spaceship before you run out of oxygen. You’ve been kidnapped by a native Amazonian tribe and have to find the antidote to the treefrog poison they’ve injected you with. You’re a patient in a hospital who has to escape before they begin running experimental tests on you. You know, every day situational things. I love challenging myself and using my brain to think creatively. I also love winning and accomplishing a goal so this is right up my alley of fun.

Ours was a flight to Washington-Dulles airport. But after takeoff, our pilot hijacked our plane and set a bomb to go off in the cockpit. That rascal. Obviously, we had to take him down. And because nothing is more fun than when you’re fully submersed in it, that’s what we did. My friends laughed at me when I buckled my seatbelt but safety first. Ain’t nobody got time for turbulence.

We worked for an hour, solving puzzles and connecting clues as we broke into first class and eventually the cockpit. With 7 seconds left to spare, we chose the right wire to cut and diffused the bomb. Like you do.

When we were taking obligatory pics in the lobby on the way out, the owner came out confused and said “So, did you escape? I couldn’t tell if you were screaming because you got out or because you blew up.” Valid. It probably would’ve sounded the same either way. But it got me thinking - isn’t life just like that? I already know that I’m good at escaping. It’s one of my go-to coping strategies when I get overwhelmed, feel hurt or unheard. When feelings are hard, whether I feel let down by other people or myself, it’s easy for me to escape into busyness, disengagement or wearing the mask of what is expected. Whether I’m winning or losing, I bet it looks the same on the outside. I bet there are a lot of people who can’t tell if I’m celebrating or crying out for help.

When we diffused the bomb (because obviously, the mission was serious) we screamed and jumped up and down, high fiving each other and smiling because we had taken our lives back from the evil that tried to beat us. In what areas of my life do I do this? How often am I smiling, jumping up and down when on the inside I’m really escaping? How often is the celebration and excitement an act when I’m secretly trying to escape from what’s going on? At the risk of you thinking that I’m a fake, I have to admit that it’s probably a lot more often than I think.

No, you should not advertise your problems to the world. Do not “vague book” on social media in easy grasps for attention. Do not tell your problems to anyone who will listen. There is something to be said for discretion. And people are judgey. But if you’re going to escape from your problems, do it the right way.

Look for clues. Maybe they aren’t as easy to find as puzzle pieces in a piece of luggage or hidden codes on a boarding pass. But the clues are there. What dominates your mind? What are the things you’re constantly thinking about? What are the unknown questions you can’t seem to find an answer to? Problems can’t be solved until they are first recognized as problems. There was no urgency to get out of the escape room until the announcer came on and told us that there was a problem. Then we knew it was time to move.

Build a team. There is no way that I would’ve gotten through the escape room on my own. Even though Kelly joked that she didn’t help, she did. They all did. These are my people. My team. My support system not just in the game but in life. Find people you trust, who know you, who have proven their devotion to you because you have evidence of them showing up in your life’s history. If you haven’t already, give them authority to speak into your life and let them know they have permission to do so. They will see clues that you don’t but they need to know they’re allowed to call them out.

Ask for hints. There was one puzzle that almost kept us from getting out because we were doing it the wrong way. We kept pushing the same buttons and getting the same response, which wasn’t the one we wanted. There was no way we were figuring out that puzzle on our own. So we asked for a hint and were told how to get the solution started. From there, we were able to figure it out the rest of the way and unlock the next clue. But banging our heads against the wall the same way over and over wasn’t ever going to be productive. It’s the same with our thoughts. If you know how to worry, you know how to pray. Instead of stressing over the same issues, do something different. take them to God. Ask for help and guidance and truth to combat what is weighing you down. He may not give you the entire answer but if you’re willing to listen for His voice, He may reveal just enough to help you figure out how to get to the next step.

Celebrate. I am guilty of skipping this step. Often. In the escape room, it was easy. Unlock a box, celebrate. Figure out a clue, celebrate. Break into the cockpit, celebrate. Diffuse the bomb and save the lives of everyone on flight 282, you better believe you celebrate. And then you move on and forward to the next thing. Celebrating isn’t a waste of time. It isn’t frivolous. It energizes us so we’re ready to tackle the next problem. It gives us confidence that we can do hard things. It reminds us that things aren’t hopeless because we’ve been stuck - and have come through on the other side - before.

If you’re going to escape, do it the right way. Don’t sit and pout about your situation. Open your eyes and see what’s in front of you. Don’t get discouraged when you find yourself in the same place for longer than planned. Remember that there is more on the other side of the door. And keep your mind sharp so you can think clearly. What are you using to escape? If the purpose of even one glass of wine is to turn your brain off or stop feeling for just a minute, it’s one glass too many. I’m not saying that all alcohol is bad, that’s a personal decision I can’t answer for you, but I’m also not saying that drinking is always a good idea, even though society says it’s perfectly permissible. There are days I have a glass of wine or grab a drink with my girlfriends and it’s totally fine. But there are other days that I know the only reason I’m reaching for a glass is because I’m sad, stressed or feel out of control. Those are the moments that it’s not a good idea for me because I’m using alcohol strictly to escape. Even if I’m not over-drinking or getting tipsy. Unhealthy habits don’t always lead to addiction. Maybe for you it’s not alcohol. Maybe it’s food. Maybe you’re an emotional or compulsive eater like I shared in “The Face of Disorder.” Maybe it’s running or exercise and you’re pushing yourself too hard or too far because it’s the one thing you feel like you can control. It’s the one area of your life that you can see results of your effort. It could be work, house projects, your children, taking care of other people. It’s all about motivation. Healthy coping mechanisms are fantastic until they become your only solution. Take a good look at yours and see what conviction is revealed. Ask God if you’re unsure, He’ll show you.

He’ll show you your situation. He’ll provide the clues. He’ll remind you that there’s more and you aren’t stuck in this season. He’ll be there when you feel like you’re alone. And if you let him, He’ll help you get out.

If you haven’t blown up yet, your time isn’t over. Hold onto hope. There are still seconds on the clock.