run. hide. fight.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says He has made everything beautiful in its time. And it’s such a perfect verse for spring. Blossoms are reblooming, the sun is shining & everyone’s mood seems to lighten as the weather gets warmer. Yes, God, you do make everything beautiful.

It was one of those days here in Charlotte on April 30th. Until I saw a professor friend post “Active Shooter at UNCC. Run. Hide. Fight.” All plans went out the window. I knew other professors on campus. I knew girls on campus who not only volunteer at my church but are also doing amazing ministry for the women on their campus. I knew other students from years of teaching, who I knew would be just as scared now as college kids as they were on that first day of kindergarten. I spent the next 24 hours burning my phone battery. calling, texting, checking-in. rechecking-in, praying, trying to support.

2 things stick out to me still, a week later. The question of how to respond and the words the students were repeatedly given: run. hide. fight. I can’t give you an answer to why terrible things happen on this side of heaven. Why God “lets” these things happen and doesn’t intervene. We live in a broken world outside of His original design. We are broken people with a free will. When we get there one day, maybe we will understand. Maybe we still won’t. But I know this is not God’s plan. I also know that he’s okay with your questions and your doubts. He’s okay with prayers full of pain and anger and sadness. I believe it breaks His heart, too.

The rest of that verse in Ecclesiastes says “He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” We don't know what God is doing. We don’t know what God has done. We don't know what God will do. We can think we know but we don’t really. We don't know all that God has done in people's past stories. We don't know what He is doing right now in people’s hearts. There are always things going on that people don’t tell us, that they don’t share, even when they appear to be open and vulnerable and transparent. We don’t know what God is going to do. In people. In the world. In eternity. From beginning to end.

God has set eternity in our hearts. We care about people. As believers, we care about their salvation. We care about their hearts. This is still true for people who don’t call themselves Christians. We all care about the lives of others. We care about people living out their futures, their eternities. It’s why thousands of people gathered for a prayer vigil on campus the night after a shooting took place. It’s not because they were all personal friends of the victims - it’s because we were moved. With eternity in our hearts. Because we know things like this aren’t meant to happen.

Yet we don't know what God is up to. We don’t know why He didn't stop it. But I bet he moved in Riley, for him to have such enormous courage to overtake the shooter and give his life to prevent the loss of others. We don’t know how God is going to use this situation to bring good. But, what if we choose to focus on that and believe that He will? Responses like this can sound cheesy & empty & offer no real compassion but my point isn’t to throw around void catch phrases. It’s just to say - we don't know. I don’t know. And instead of having the answers, admitting that I don’t gives me hope. Because I know how God has moved before and I believe He will do it again. He has set eternity in our hearts and He will make everything beautiful in its time.

run. hide. fight. These words go far beyond the shooting itself.

Run to where you feel safe, even now. Maybe it’s a friend’s house. Maybe it’s reading a particular scripture or listening to a certain song where you hear God speak to you through the lyrics. It’s okay if you still feel like you’re running to safety after this or any traumatic experience. It’s okay if you don’t know how to feel, what to think, what to say or what to do. You’re trying to process something that was never supposed to happen. It shouldn’t make sense.

Hide hope in your heart. Not in a secretive, quiet way of hiding it away for no one else to see but hide it, tuck it away, where no one can take it from you. God’s presence is in you & He wants to comfort you. Tragedies like this remind us that we don’t actually have control of our eternities. No amount of performance, intellect or planning allows us to add hours to our days or days to our years. These things shake us because they remind us of how human we really are. But Jesus’ sacrifice took on even this. This pain, this confusion, this grief. If you know Him, hide that hope in your heart and don’t let it fade. On the contrary, let it shine and uplift those around you. It doesn’t mean you have to have answers or know what to say but allow God to guide your conversations and your prayers. Admit that you don’t know and invite others in to the peace that trusting in God’s goodness provides. If you don't have a relationship with Jesus - and I do mean a relationship, not a system of going through the motions in a building called a church - there is more. There’s a peace that doesn’t make sense, a hope that you can cling to in the midst of the worst situations and a love that can handle the heaviest of sorrows. Call out to Jesus and ask Him to reveal himself to you. Then listen. He will answer.

Fight back. Don’t move on as if nothing has happened. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve and feel the emotions that traumas like this bring up. Allow God to move your heart into action to fight against the evil in this world. Maybe it’s following up with a friend who was really impacted by the shooting, even if you feel uncomfortable and don't know what to say. Maybe fighting back is seeing a therapist or talking to a counselor who can help you process your thoughts and feelings. Maybe it’s remembering Riley & Ellis who both lost their lives and telling stories of the good they did. Maybe it’s donating to organizations like Communities in Schools or Classroom Central in honor of Drew, Sean, Emily or Rami, the other students who were injured in the shooting. Maybe it’s fighting evil by not letting it have another moment of power, by being a light and source of hope that gives people space to grieve but refuses to let the darkness take over. We can fight by telling stories of life, by sharing how students and faculty have come together to support each other, how lives have been changed already for good from something that intended only to harm. We can fight by living our lives to the fullest. Show up to your emotions and allow yourself to feel them but do not let fear or grief rule you and dictate how your life changes going forward. Laugh, go out for food, do something silly with your friends or teammates or roommates. Remember Riley & Ellis by bringing life back to campus and showing fear that it does not win. Succumbing to fear only feeds more victims to terrorism. Honor their lives by living yours freely.

Give yourself permission to grieve. Then give yourself permission to live. He will make everything beautiful in its time and it’s okay if you don’t know how or what it’s going to look like. He does. From beginning to end.