Exercise Advice from a Non-Expert
On my way to attend our women’s ministry brunch, I got a text that the personal trainer who was going to lead the workout break-out session got sick and had to cancel at the last minute. Because I’m on church staff, because it’s my personality, because I like to have purpose…I knew I wanted to help. I was on my way & already dressed to workout because that was the breakout I’d chosen. It would really be no problem to jump in. I called Amber, our fantastic women’s ministry director, and suggested that I take the women who were coming for a good sweat to one of our classrooms and just play a workout video. Easy. My personal trainer is on YouTube anyway so it was going to be a simple solution.
P.S. By personal trainer I mean Sydney Cummings, the girl I follow on YouTube for free and have only ever “met” by watching her videos. Then again, we have had a few DMs here and there so I guess that makes us Instagram besties.
Before the event started, Amber said “Hey, so, by the way I was going to interview the trainer at the end of the brunch before the breakouts start. So can give you some tips for people who are workout beginners, those of us in the middle and then for people who don’t really know how to get started?” I laughed and she said “What?! You’re a workout person!” I said, “No. I work out. Full stop.” Then again…Enneagram 3. I can do this.
To be honest, I don’t remember exactly what I said in the mic. Which is probably good because it means that I let God speak through me instead of grasping for last minute catch phrases and things that I thought would sound good. And multiple women said they could relate to what I said so, again, evidence of God’s words, not mine. But I do remember explaining that, for me, physical workouts are very connected to my mental health. And whether I said it or not, here’s what I hope I conveyed:
When I’m having a hard time getting started again (after a season of not working out due to illness or whatever else) it’s not usually because my body can’t physically handle it. It’s because I’m having some kind of mental block that tells me I can’t. There’s something I need to deal with in my mind or spirit. Am I pushing something down and not dealing with it? Am I forcing myself to start harder than necessary instead of easing in so it feels too overwhelming? Am I trying to tell myself I want this because it’s something I’ve seen another woman do? (Underlying lie: If she is, I should be.) It isn’t until I identify & remove the mental block that I can get into a good pattern again.
When I’m in a really great pattern of exercising and eating well, I have to watch my motivation. It’s easy to slip into focusing on appearance when the mirror or scale shows me that progress has been made. I still have to take it back to a mental place - Why am I working out this often? Why am I choosing these foods? Am I still enjoying living like this (sometimes the answer is yes!) or is it out of a need to prove something to myself or other people? I can usually tell when my motivation has turned to vanity because all of a sudden it feels like a chore to work out instead of a stress reliever or eating chocolate brings guilt. When I’m focusing on my body for body’s sake it never lasts long. And that can show up in various ways: working out to fit into a specific piece of clothing, working out to impress someone else, working out to hit a number on the scale or the tag in my jeans, working out because I’m going to see someone who is not my favorite and I want to look good if I have to be in the same room as her because I AM GOING TO WIN BY LOOKING BETTER. (you know…just making examples up off the top of my head.) Working out for image sake only makes me berate myself. I can’t stop. I can’t do less. I can’t modify. Don’t be weak. I push through, push my body past it’s limits and beat myself up for not being better despite my bright red face and dripping sweat. It’s no wonder I don’t want to get up and do it again the next day. Who would want to face that kind of criticism for trying?
For seasons when I’m in the middle somewhere - where I’d say most of us generally live - it’s because my body is connected to my mind or my spirit in a healthy way. That’s when any kind of health goal becomes a routine I can stick with. When it’s about grace and moderation. Not calling a sleeve of Oreos & 3 glasses of wine a meal but allowing small indulgences here & there. Giving myself grace for taking a break when a run is really hard or I can’t do one more jump squat. Eating a peanut butter cup after dinner and not giving even a moment’s thought to how many fat calories it has. It’s balance. Healthy reasons to work out: to clear my head. to process hard thoughts & feelings. to turn my brain off & allow space for refueling. to let God speak to me. to take time for only me. because I like it. Finding success in the middle means landing somewhere between shaming myself into being better and completely letting go of all self-control. It’s a large space to move in but can somehow be the hardest.
The morning of our brunch, Yami, Claudia, Beth, Bonnie and I did a 30 minute video on YouTube. Every single one of us had to stop or modify at least once. Guess how many of us cared about modifying? 0/5. Guess how many of us were proud of ourselves at the end? 5/5. We were sweaty and tired and needed more water but guess what else we were? Smiling. Because we’d given our best effort and had a shared community experience encouraging each other and laughing through it together.
Physical, mental, spiritual, emotional. It’s all connected. I can sense God in all of it in different moments and working on one aspect somehow releases and brings healing in others. It’s when we try to laser focus on just one and ignore the others that it’s easy to get out of whack.
Freedom and grace. Space to move and be and learn and practice and fail and try again. Grace to do what we can do that day and celebrate that we took one step instead of feeling bad that it wasn’t something more. That’s health. Connected in all the ways. Which is the hardest for you? What season are you in & what’s getting in your way?
P.S. Sydney Cummings is legit my favorite. Whether you are looking to start an exercise routine, amp up a tired one or just switch up your regular, she is MY GIRL. Who puts out a brand new video every day FOR FREE? My Sydney. That’s who. I personally think HIIT workouts are her sweet spot but she has playlists for literally everything - targeting specific parts of the body or muscle groups, stretching, cardio, yoga (hard pass) and by different lengths of time ranging from 5 minutes to an hour. We live in the same city so I will meet her at some point but until then, look her up on YouTube & give her 20 or 30 minutes of your time. She’s encouraging without being annoying and I have unfollowed multiple people because their workouts were not good enough to have to listen to their words. (I’m not naming names, calm it down, but it’s true.) She focuses on strength & health and I’ve never once heard her say that she needs to exercise so she can wear a bikini. ((barf)) Tell her I sent you and maybe we’ll be real life friends soon.
Here’s just a few of my @sydneycummings_ faves. Click the pics to try them out:
