I’ve been haunted by a thought this week: What if Judas had held on for a few more days?

If you’re familiar at all with the story of Jesus’ crucifixion, you probably see Judas as the bad guy. The one who did Jesus in. The betrayer. What you may not know, if you haven’t read the gospel accounts yourself, is that Judas tried to undo it. He went back to the religious leaders and tried to give back the money he had received for payment of the betrayal. Since they had exactly what they wanted, and could use Judas as the scapegoat to carry all the blame, the chief priests and elders had no interest in helping Judas. He became so overcome with guilt that he hung himself - before Jesus was even crucified.

Judas: The worst disciple.
He justified his actions and let sin convince him that it wasn’t changing his soul.

See, even before this moment, Judas had been motivated and led by sin, by deceit, by greed. Multiple places in scripture we see that Judas was in charge of the money and that he regularly helped himself to money that wasn’t his. Not because “it’s just the way they did it back then.” It was wrong and he knew it and he did it anyway. He justified his actions - by whatever means made him sleep better at night - until the behaviors he was choosing no longer rubbed him the wrong way. And here is where it starts. Ignoring what was wrong changed Judas into a different kind of person.

Let’s compare him with another person from this story.

Peter: The best disciple.
He knew he’d never betray Jesus.

But then he did. Peter denied Jesus 3 times because he was afraid. He didn’t know what was happening, what would happen to any of them, and in self-protection, denied any connection to Jesus. Peter also reacted with violence when injustice happened, cutting off the ear of the roman soldier who came to take Jesus away in the garden. This student of Jesus’ who had heard all the messages of love, living differently and turning the other cheek relied on his first instinct to harm another person in the name of, once again, self-protection.

Both of these disciples acted in a way that did not align with the teachings of Jesus.
Both of these disciples said and did the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Both of these disciples looked out for their own best interests in the moment.

The difference is that Judas tried to cover his own sin. When he couldn’t, the weight of it literally took his life. Peter was reconciled back to God. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross gave his life a second chance.

Hence, the thought that has been haunting me: what if Judas had held on for a few more days?

Judas would’ve been forgiven. Jesus could’ve had a heart to heart with him over breakfast to recommission him into the world. Judas would be the poster child of new life instead of the betrayer. Jesus would’ve saved Judas.

Friend, here’s what this means for us: there is never not hope.

I am Peter and I am Judas.
I am the sinner and I am the redeemed.

Regardless of who you think you are, Jesus is always there, waiting for you to choose Him. Or choose Him again. There is always the option to undo what you’ve done, to become a difference person. Jesus will always reconcile you to God and do what you cannot do on your own.

Hold on. Change is coming. Jesus is coming.

There is no despair, no choice, no sin, no mistake you have made, are making or will make in the future that Jesus can not redeem. Please hold on.