When I was in college I wrote a persuasive paper against abortion. I researched and listed out all of the gory details of a full-term procedure, leaning on shock factor to play on emotion. I also offered up the alternatives you’d expect a virgin, white, middle-class, Christian girl to offer: put the baby up for adoption or stop having sex until you’re married.

I thought abortions were for selfish, single girls who had sex whenever they wanted with whoever they wanted but who weren’t responsible enough to raise the child they knew could be a result of their choices.

I didn’t know that abortions were a way out for abuse, incest, rape victims. I didn’t know abortions were used medically when the fetus doesn’t develop appropriately or when there’s an ectopic pregnancy or in certain types of miscarriages so that those mothers don’t have to walk around with an unborn baby inside of them. I didn’t know that abortions were used medically to save the lives of women trying desperately to become mothers in a body that isn’t working like it should. I didn’t know that abortions were more common among minorities and unsupported, lower socioeconomic communities.

I didn’t know that abortions are much more nuanced and complicated than just being a solution to the problem of pregnancy when you want to have a carefree life of sleeping around without responsibilities.

Even in my research, I found none of that. Because research means nothing when you’ve already made up your mind.

I thought being pro-life meant being anti-abortion.

Being pro-life means being pro-all-of-the-lives:

The lives of victims, the lives of mothers, the lives of trafficked children, the lives of our kids while they’re at school, the lives of people on the other side of the border, the lives of kids who are waiting to be adopted, the lives of shooting victims, the lives of people whose lifestyles we don’t live, the lives of LGBTQIA+ people, the lives of people we don’t understand or agree with.

Pro-life means being pro every single life and every single person that God sees the humanity of - and that is every single person - even, and especially, outside of the 9 months they are in utero.

This doesn’t mean that I no longer value babies in the womb. It means I understand that my view was incredibly narrow and now pro-life is much more inclusive.

You probably know someone who’s had an abortion. But because of the stigma and shame we attach to it - regardless of the motivation or reason behind the procedure - it’s a secret they carry privately.

I do not see the overturning of Roe vs Wade as a victory and I refuse to believe that God celebrates when any people hurt.

I am embarrassed and angered by some of the things I am seeing from other Christians. You are handing people reasons to turn away from God and the church when you connect Him to the grief of so many people. That is not the God I know. That is not the God of love.

If you are confused or frustrated or angry or sad by what you’re seeing some Christians or churches say and do in response to the overturning of Roe vs Wade, I am sorry. It is absolutely breaking my heart. Just because someone says God rejoices over this, that doesn’t make it true.

As a faith leader myself, yes, the same goes for me. Don’t believe something just because I say it. Take what you’re seeing and hearing back to God and ask Him to show you what’s true, who He is.

As defeated as I can feel in times like this, as much as fighting this uphill battle against people who are supposed to be on my same team makes me want to quit altogether, it also reminds me that I have to use my voice. Even when it feels like I am screaming into the void. So there is my perspective and I hope you find love there.

There is hope. God is love. He rejoices in good and mourns with those who mourn and we are called to do the same as His church.